I watched the new blockbuster so you don’t have to. You’re welcome. Also, I need wine. More wine.
I didn’t want to watch it. My golden retriever, Reagan, seemed skeptical when I pressed play. But somebody has to keep an eye on what Hollywood hates about America this week, and apparently that somebody is me. So I poured myself a generous glass of Beaujolais —a California one, ironically, though I try not to think about that—and settled in for two hours and seventeen minutes of what I can only describe as an attack on everything I hold dear.
Now, I’m not going to name the specific film because, frankly, it could be any of them these days. You know the type. Furthermore, you’ve probably suffered through one yourself.
How Hollywood Hates America On Screen
There’s always a strong female character who doesn’t need anyone’s help, which is apparently empowering rather than sad. Additionally, there’s a villain who works for a corporation, because in Hollywood, job creators are always the bad guys. And there’s a message. Oh, there’s always a message.
Whatever happened to movies that were just fun? I remember when you could go to the theater and watch a simple story about a man saving his family, defeating the bad guys, and maybe learning a small lesson about humility along the way. Consequently, you went home feeling good about being American. Those movies didn’t lecture you. They entertained you.
Now? Now I feel like I need to apologize to my children for the country we’re leaving them. As I discussed in my piece about how they’ve ruined everything from my childhood, this is part of a larger pattern of cultural destruction.
My Daughter Gets It (During Our Weekend Together)
McKayleigh—she’s seventeen—asked me the other day why old movies are “so much better.” And I almost cried into my wine. Because she gets it. She understands, instinctively, that something has been lost.
She was here for our every-other-weekend visit, and we tried to watch something together. Nevertheless, everything on streaming seemed designed to make us feel guilty for being American. Meanwhile, the Hollywood that gave us classics—well, I’m blanking on titles right now, but you know the ones I mean. The good ones. From before.
McKayleigh calls me “Ashleigh” instead of “Mom” now, which I’ve decided to find endearing. It’s a generational thing. Similarly, Brayden—he’s twenty—mostly just looks at his phone when he visits. But I know they both feel the same way about what Hollywood hates in this country.
The Approved Films List
I’ve started a list of approved films for family movie night. So far it includes anything made before 1995 and anything with dogs as the main characters. We’ve been watching a lot of Air Bud. Reagan seems to enjoy it, though he’s the only one consistently present for movie night these days.
The entertainment industry used to understand its audience. It made billions of dollars giving people what they wanted: heroes, villains, happy endings, and the occasional tasteful romance. However, now it seems determined to scold us, educate us, and make us feel guilty for sins we didn’t commit.
What They’ve Done To Us
Well, I refuse. I refuse to feel guilty for loving my country, for believing in traditional values, and for thinking that movies should have plots that make sense. If that makes me old-fashioned, so be it. Call me old-fashioned. I’ve been called worse by my own network, back when I had one.
Hollywood hates America and everyone in it who doesn’t live in a coastal city and go to the right parties. They want us to hate ourselves. Instead, I’m going to keep watching Air Bud and drinking wine and remembering when this country made things worth watching.
I’m pouring another glass… my third, but who’s counting… and then I’m going to watch something with John Wayne in it. At least he never apologized for being a man.
God, family, country. In that order. Always.
Sorry not sorry.
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