“I literally told them exactly what to do, and they did the opposite,” report stunned parents everywhere
NATIONWIDE — Parents across America have made a shocking discovery: their kids don’t listen to them about anything, regardless of how correct the advice is or how many times it’s repeated.
The finding, which emerged from millions of independent parental observations, suggests that children of all ages systematically ignore guidance from the people who have the most experience and the most invested in their success.
“I told my daughter exactly what to major in,” said one father from Ohio. “Did she listen? No. She studied what she wanted to study. Like my 30 years of work experience meant nothing.”
How Parents Learned Kids Don’t Listen
According to reports, parents first began noticing their kids don’t listen sometime around the children’s development of language skills. Initially, parents assumed the issue was communication-related. Perhaps they weren’t explaining things clearly enough.
“I thought if I just explained why it was a bad idea, he’d understand,” said a mother from Texas. “So I explained it. In detail. Multiple times. With examples. He did it anyway.”
The phenomenon appears to worsen during the teenage years, when children develop the ability to nod while retaining absolutely no information. Furthermore, the behavior persists well into adulthood, when grown children ignore parental advice about relationships, careers, and home purchases.
“My son bought a house without even asking me to look at it first,” one parent reported. “I have opinions about that house. Opinions he’ll never hear because he didn’t ask.”
What Parents Say When Kids Don’t Listen
Parents have developed a repertoire of phrases designed to encourage listening. These include:
“I’m only saying this because I love you.” Additionally: “You’ll understand when you’re older.” Also popular: “I just don’t want you to make the same mistakes I made.” Finally: “Fine, do what you want, but don’t come crying to me.”
Research indicates these phrases have no effect on child behavior. In fact, some children report that hearing these phrases causes them to listen even less.
“When my mom says ‘I just don’t want to see you get hurt,’ I know she’s about to criticize my boyfriend,” said one 24-year-old. “So I just kind of… check out mentally.”
Is There Hope That Kids Will Listen?
Experts say there is limited hope. Some children eventually acknowledge their parents were right about one or two things, typically when they become parents themselves and realize their own kids don’t listen.
“My dad told me I’d understand someday,” said one 35-year-old father. “I thought he was being condescending. Turns out I do understand. My kid doesn’t listen to me either. It’s a cycle.”
At press time, millions of parents were repeating advice that had already been given, in slightly louder voices, hoping this time it would make a difference.
This story is developing, but nobody is paying attention.
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