Two weeks off and suddenly everything’s rearranged. They moved the coffee machine. They changed the login system. They want you to think this is normal. It isn’t.
First Monday back at work after the holidays, and already I can tell something’s going on. I walked into the office at 8:47 AM—same as always—and the coffee machine wasn’t where it used to be. They moved it. Seventeen feet to the left, next to the recycling bin. No announcement. No explanation. Just moved.
You think that’s a coincidence? On the first Monday back at work, when everyone’s tired and distracted and not paying attention? That’s exactly when they make their moves.
What They Changed
Let me walk you through what I noticed in the first two hours alone. The coffee machine: relocated. The password policy: updated, now requiring “special characters,” whatever that means. The thermostat: locked behind a new plastic cover that wasn’t there in December. The wellness initiative poster: prominently displayed with instructions about “mindful movement.”
I asked my coworker Dave if he’d noticed anything different. He said “not really” and went back to his spreadsheet. That’s the problem. Nobody notices. Or they notice and don’t care. Or they care and don’t say anything.
I say something. That’s what I do.
The First Monday Pattern
I’ve been working here for nine years. Every January, they pull something. In 2023, they changed the time-off request form. In 2024, they adjusted the parking lot assignments. This year, it’s the coffee machine and the passwords and whatever “mindful movement” means.
My supervisor, Karen—I’m not using her real name for legal reasons, but her real name is Karen—told me the coffee machine was moved for “workflow optimization.” I asked who optimized the workflow and based on what data. She said she’d “look into it” and walked away.
That was three hours ago. No follow-up.
What I’m Doing About It
I sent an email to HR at 11:23 AM. Professional. Factual. Just asking questions. I CC’d myself so I’d have documentation. I also printed a copy and put it in my file at home. The file is getting thick. That’s fine. I’d rather have documentation I don’t need than need documentation I don’t have.
My second wife, who prefers not to be mentioned, says I “make things into bigger deals than they are.” With respect, she wasn’t there. She didn’t see the coffee machine. She doesn’t understand the pattern.
I’m not saying there’s a conspiracy. I’m saying: first Monday back at work, everything’s different, nobody’s explaining why, and the one guy asking questions gets looked at like he’s the crazy one.
I’m not crazy. I just have something most people lack: healthy skepticism. And I’m full of it.
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