It was a budget meeting. He had no reason to agree with me. But he did. And now I can’t stop thinking about what it means.
9:47 AM. Monday morning budget review. I made a comment about efficiency metrics—nothing political, just numbers. And my coworker Brian, who has a rainbow flag pin on his laptop bag and once mentioned voting in a primary I won’t name, looked at me and said: “That’s fair.” Two words. But I know what I heard. I think my coworker is waking up.
I’ve been watching Brian for about eight months. Not surveillance—observation. He fits a profile I’ve identified: mid-thirties, seems reasonable, occasionally makes eye contact when I speak. These are the ones who can be reached. I was one of them once.
The Signs Of A Coworker Waking Up
When I started my journey, it wasn’t a single moment. It was accumulation. A barista correcting my language. A date that went poorly. Small friction points that added up until I couldn’t ignore them anymore. Brian is experiencing friction. I can tell.
Last month, he sighed audibly during a diversity training video. I noted it. Didn’t say anything—you can’t push too hard too fast. But I noted it. Then in December, he mentioned that holiday travel was “kind of a nightmare” without elaborating. That’s frustration with systems. That’s the beginning.
And now “that’s fair.” In a meeting. About budget metrics. Agreeing with me.
The Approach
I’ve made mistakes before. In 2024, I identified a potential awakening in my cousin Derek and moved too quickly. Three-hour conversation at Thanksgiving. Curated video playlist. A follow-up email with bullet points. He stopped responding to my texts. The lesson: patience.
With Brian, I’m taking a different approach. I call it Ambient Awakening. I don’t push content. I just… exist. I make reasonable comments in meetings. I occasionally leave my phone screen visible with certain podcasts paused. I laugh at the right moments and stay quiet at others.
Today after the meeting, I said “good points in there” as we walked out. He said “thanks, you too.” Reciprocity. That’s connection.
What Happens Next
I’m not going to rush this. Brian has a rainbow pin and voted how he voted, but those are surface indicators. Underneath, there’s someone who sighed during a video and said “that’s fair” to me specifically. The seed is planted.
My girlfriend Rachel says I “read too much into workplace interactions.” She also said my cousin Derek “just got busy” and that’s why he stopped texting. Rachel doesn’t understand the patterns. She wasn’t there when Brian said it. She didn’t see his face.
I have a meeting with Brian’s team on Thursday. I’m preparing three comments that are technically about project timelines but could, to the right listener, suggest something deeper. Nothing overt. Just… available.
He said “that’s fair.” He didn’t have to say that. He chose to. My coworker is waking up, whether he knows it yet or not.
I’ll be there when he’s ready.
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