They want you to feel broken every January. I refuse to participate. Starting now. Or next week.
Every December, they start with the articles. “New Year, New You!” “Transform Your Life in 2026!” “Ten Resolutions That Will Finally Make You Happy!” The new years resolution industrial complex kicks into high gear, and millions of Americans fall for it. Again.
Not me. Not anymore.
New Years Resolution Industry Profits From Your Shame
Think about who benefits from this system. The gym memberships that spike in January and go unused by March. The diet programs that sell you hope in a box. The self-help books that tell you everything wrong with you can be fixed—for $24.99 plus shipping.
Coincidence? I think not.
Have you noticed that the same magazines telling you to lose weight in January were telling you to enjoy holiday treats in December? They create the problem, then sell you the solution. It’s brilliant, really. Evil, but brilliant. Speaking of systems designed to manipulate you, I’ve been connecting dots for years now.
My Brother Set Forty-Seven Resolutions Last Year
My brother—the successful one, according to my mother—wrote down forty-seven new years resolution goals last January. I know because he posted them on social media. All of them. With hashtags.
How many did he complete? Three. Maybe four if you count “drink more water” which, let’s be honest, is hardly an accomplishment. Meanwhile, I set zero resolutions and accomplished roughly the same amount. The math speaks for itself.
Real Change Doesn’t Need A Calendar
Here’s what the new years resolution pushers don’t want you to know: you can change anytime. Next Tuesday. Or next March. Or the middle of August. There’s nothing special about January 1st except that gyms are crowded and everyone’s hungover.
Consequently, I’m resolving to not resolve anything. I’m going to stay exactly who I am, which is someone who doesn’t need a calendar to tell him when to improve. If I want to improve, I’ll do it when I’m good and ready. Which might be never. And that’s fine.
My ex-wife used to say I was “resistant to growth.” I prefer to call it “immune to manipulation.”
Same thing, different framing.
Wake up, sheeple.