“Just to play devil’s advocate,” says man about to share deeply held personal conviction for the 400th time
CORPORATE HEIGHTS—A local man who has spent over a decade prefacing statements with “just to play devil’s advocate” has been revealed to be arguing his actual opinions the entire time. Furthermore, coworkers report they are “not remotely surprised” by the discovery and had “literally always known.”
“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here,” said Keith Moorland, 46, before launching into a passionate 12-minute defense of a position he has held since college. “Someone has to ask the hard questions.”
The devil’s advocate opinion Moorland shared was identical to opinions he has expressed at every team meeting since 2014.
Pattern Exposed After 11 Years Of Advocacy
According to witnesses, Moorland’s rhetorical strategy was first identified by coworkers approximately one week after he was hired.
“He said ‘just to play devil’s advocate’ and then argued that open floor plans destroy productivity,” recalled colleague Janet Chen. “Then he said it again the next week. Same topic. Same points. Same passion. By week three, we understood.”
Additionally, sources confirm that Moorland’s devil’s advocate positions have never once contradicted his previously stated beliefs on any subject.
Advocacy Covers Remarkable Range Of Topics
In a comprehensive review of Moorland’s advocacy history, Newswax identified consistent devil’s advocate positions on remote work, reply-all etiquette, the thermostat setting, whether meetings could be emails, and the correct way to load a dishwasher.
“He played devil’s advocate about the dishwasher thing for forty-five minutes at the holiday party,” reported one source. “His wife was standing right there. She looked tired. Not tired from the party. Tired in general.”
Moorland’s wife declined to comment but was observed nodding slowly when informed of the story’s premise.
Moorland Denies Accusations, Advocates For Denial
“Just to play devil’s advocate,” Moorland responded when confronted with findings, “maybe I’m just good at seeing all sides of an issue. Ever consider that?”
He then spent 20 minutes advocating for this position with visible emotional investment.
Meanwhile, the actual Devil issued a statement distancing himself from Moorland’s advocacy. “I have never retained this man’s services,” the statement read. “His opinions are his own. Please stop calling.”
At press time, Moorland announced he was “just asking questions” before asking a question that was clearly a statement.
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