“We The People run this state, not some jolly Arctic bureaucrat,” declares elected official who used tax-funded internet to post pictures of himself kicking a fictional character
INDIANAPOLIS—Indiana State Senator Chris Garten (R) posted AI-generated images on Christmas Day depicting himself physically assaulting Santa Claus in front of the state capitol building. The Indiana politician fights Santa in multiple frames—body-slamming, punching, and pile-driving Father Christmas—citing concerns about “bureaucratic overreach” from the North Pole. He dismissed widespread criticism as evidence that society has become “too sensitive,” calling his detractors “snowflakes.”
“The North Pole is trying to bring unfunded mandates down the chimney disguised as ‘Christmas cheer,'” wrote Garten in a post accompanying the images. “We The People run this state. Take it back to the Arctic, big guy.”
The images, which Garten apparently generated using AI software, show the lawmaker in various battle poses defeating Santa Claus in hand-to-hand combat.
Critic Response Called “Fake Outrage”
When contacted about the overwhelmingly negative response to his posts, Garten dismissed concerns as manufactured controversy.
“Some of you clowns are just insufferable,” Garten wrote in a follow-up post. “This is a stark reminder of how overly sensitive society has become. Merry Christmas, snowflakes!”
The senator’s office did not respond to questions about what specific North Pole policies constitute overreach, how Santa Claus exercises regulatory authority over Indiana, or why defeating a beloved children’s character in imaginary combat was a priority on Christmas Day.
Santa Claus Unavailable For Comment
Repeated attempts to reach Santa Claus for comment were unsuccessful, as the North Pole Press Office does not exist and Santa Claus is a folkloric figure rather than a regulatory agency.
“I don’t understand the policy angle here,” admitted one confused constituent. “Is he saying Santa is… a bureaucrat? Is gift-giving an unfunded mandate now? I voted for this man. I’m having some feelings about that.”
Meanwhile, political analysts noted that Garten’s confrontational stance against a fictional gift-giver represents a bold new front in the ongoing War on Christmas.
Tactical Victory Claimed
“The images clearly show me winning,” Garten clarified in a subsequent post. “Multiple takedowns. Clean victory. The elves saw the whole thing.”
When asked whether using AI to generate images of himself defeating an imaginary opponent was substantively different from claiming victory in a shower argument, Garten’s office declined to comment.
At press time, sources confirmed that Santa Claus has not filed any legislation in Indiana, does not hold elected office, and continues to not exist in a regulatory capacity. Santa’s reindeer could not be reached by press time.
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